Safe and Warm

We've had no
heat for the past few days. Our furnace decided to blow itself up, for no
reason anyone can explain to me, and so it's been a mite chilly here. 

Of course it happened on a Saturday night so it's taken a few days
to get the furnace examined and a new one ordered but as I type this, my new
super-de-duper furnace is being installed.

Yesterday my daughter had a snow day and we built a fire, plugged in a few space heaters and we were fine. I did think about going to a
hotel but I decided we could make do.

And we did great. I gathered all the house plants together near a
space heater, put extra blankets on everyone’s bed, we all put on a few more
layers and we used most of our firewood up in the main floor fireplace but
that's okay.

But I must admit I've spent the last three days feeling unsettled.

After some reflection I think this feeling is due to the furnace
being awry and the fact that my husband and oldest daughter are both away too.

Things at home just haven't felt right.

Every time I've walked into my house over the last few days I
haven't been greeted with warmth and I’ve been disappointed.

And each night when I’ve gathered my family to a hot dinner there
has been two of us missing and that too has felt wrong and unsettling.

And although I know that my children are going to grow up and
leave me and that my husband is going to have to continue travelling for work
somehow the lack of heat in my house has made me feel their absence even more.

I never truly appreciated before that the five of us being
together and being warm is what I associate, both physically and emotionally, with security.

With being home.

And honestly? I've missed that warmth these last few days.


3 thoughts on “Safe and Warm

  1. Oh, this made me sad. I can see the day coming for us, too, all too soon, when it won’t be the five of us every single evening. I will miss it.
    Hope you’re staying warm!


  2. My youngest recently got her own apartment and in the same week that she moved out, my second-to-the-youngest, after having moved back in for several months, also went back out on his own. There’s nothing wrong with our furnace, but the silence around here is deafening.


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