Daughters · Family · Me · Parenting

All her bags are packed…

Dear J,

In a few short days you are going to be leaving home.

I am thrilled for you. But yes, I'm sad too.

I know I keep saying it, and feel free to roll your eyes if you
like, but I can't believe how fast you've grown up.

The day I found out I was pregnant with you I was thrilled. I was
also terrified. Then, I began to eat everything in sight – especially donuts. I
craved donuts when I was expecting you and now you don't even like them. I find
that weird.

I will never forget the day you were born. Right away they handed
you to your Dad and I remember watching you with him. You were only
minutes old and you began to cry but when your Dad spoke you immediately
stopped and turned your head towards him, you already knew his voice and
understood that in his arms you were safe. You were right.

You made me a Mom and you turned my world upside down but we
figured things out together. The diaper changing was easy, but the nursing
didn't go quite as well. You slept through the night early and you walked late.
You were always a busy, happy and relaxed little soul.

As you grew older you loved colouring, music, stuffed animals and
books. You still do. 

Then, when you were almost three and just over five, we gave you a
little brother and a little sister. Have you forgiven us yet?

Don't answer that.

When you started grade school your teachers all loved you. You
were polite, bright and well behaved. You were a dream student.

As our family grew we decided to drag you to the USA and then the
UK to live and you loved moving around. While you were there you met new
people and saw new places. You made friends easily, you saw their worlds
and you always wanted to see, do and learn more.

After ten years we brought you back home, you went to high school,
and you made more friends – lovely friends. I will miss coming home to find all
of them in my kitchen baking brownies, eating chips and just chillin’ with you.
   

Because now, you are seventeen and leaving home. I suppose I only
have myself to blame, we’ve always encouraged you to see the world and to find
the right place in it for you. So, I really shouldn’t be surprised that the
first place you’ve chosen to go is an airplane ride and an ocean away.

But, my heart is breaking because you're leaving me. I know I will
spend every night for the next few months going to your room at bedtime where I
will stand by your empty bed and miss seeing you there, knowing that you are
safe, at home, with me.

And, I will try not to worry about you, but I still will.

The hardest part of being a mother, I now know, is letting
go. 

Still, I wish for you a journey of fantastic adventures and
growth. Go safely my beloved daughter and discover new things, see different
places, meet new people, dream your own dreams and then – chase them.

Be safe and Skype often.

And know I love you with all my heart,
Mom

11 thoughts on “All her bags are packed…

  1. Omg! Tears here reading this! So well written! If is doesn’t bring a tear to J’s eyes I will be surprised. Hugs are always available …

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s