Daughters

She is perfect.

Ever want to just smack someone? I wanted to do that yesterday but I'm adult now so I didn't.

The part of this that's bothering me is not that I didn't smack this woman, but that I didn't put her in her place verbally. I was tired, and I didn't have a good put down ready.

Yep, twenty four hours later that's still irking me. That's how I roll.

Here's what happened.

Mrs. Smug-Toned woman and I were watching our eight and nine year old girls run around the playground when she smugly informed me that my youngest daughter is a tomboy, not a girly-girl like the rest of the girls she was playing with.

My daughter was in capris and a t-shirt with her wavy thick hair all mussed up and out of its ponytail holder. She was dusty and bright eyed and in my eyes, beautiful.

The rest of her buddies all had sun dresses on and had their hair scrapped back tight but as far as I could tell they were all playing just as hard as my youngest.

I stuttered in reply at first that I didn't think my daughter really was a tomboy.

Then I said, well maybe she is I hadn't really thought about it.

Then I said, even if she is, that's not a bad thing.

What really got me was not what was said but what this woman's tone implied. Her tone implied that somehow my daughter was in some way uh, wrong.

Um, no.

Could my baby be a tomboy? Possibly. Let's see.

My youngest plays sports. Yep, she does and she's good at some of them too. She's high energy; loves to play and I encourage it. Sue me.

My daughter also wears pants to school most days. Um, I know a lot of the other girls in her grade only wear the school uniform skirts but shesh, we live in Canada, it's cold. My kid wears pants 'cause that's what I buy her to wear. Now that it's warming up she'll start wearing her skirts again.

Finally, my baby is VERY outgoing and confident. Is that supposedly a male or tomboy trait? She's not rude or bossy so I let her be. 

My youngest however can also be a girly-girl.

She sings all the time. She wants to be a singer. If you ask her, she'll tell you she's going to go to The Juilliard School one day to study music.

My daughter takes three different types of dance and loves to be on stage in full makeup and costume for the recitals.

My baby's room and most of her non-school clothes are pink and purple. That's not a tomboy thing, right?

Is my youngest a tomboy or a girly-girl or something else entirely?

Does it matter?

She's a little girl, my little girl. Does she need to be labeled?

Other smug toned Mama? Leave my daughter alone. She's perfect.

And other Mama? I never really liked your kid or you anyway. You're both prisses. Go out and have some fun will ya?

I hate it when I haven't got a good put down ready when I need one.

Next time I think I'll just hit the other Mama.

17 thoughts on “She is perfect.

  1. Oh it’s so hard to be a Mommy!Mean little girls grow up to be mean little women. Hopefully she’s kicking herself for being so rude. If not, nothing wrong with letting it go and leaving it to karma.
    Feel better!

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  2. Your daughter sounds perfect the way she is. She enjoys what she enjoys without worrying about classifications. Good for her. Is it possible the other mom wasn’t trying to be mean? I just can’t imagine someone would insult someone else’s child.

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  3. You could have put her down with something smart, but these kinds of people seem beyond reproach.
    Of course your daughter is wonderful. How dare this woman imply anything otherwise?

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  4. Knowing your daughter as I do, she is not a girly girl or a tom-boy, she is a well-rounded, well-adjusted little person. But just the same, I’d rather have a tomboy than a Bayview Barbie Wannabe!!! (how’s that for a comeback?

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  5. Thanks for the shout out! I will enjoy mu Oscar! 😉 As for smug mom-she can suck it! It sounds to me like your daughter is well rounded.

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  6. I would have said something like, “Yes, we want her to be active so that she will always have fitness and health and no-” *meaningful glance* “-body issues.”
    I mean, I probably would have said it in my head on the way back to the car, 2 hours later, but still.

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  7. Oh she’s just trying to cover up for her own insecurities. She’s rude! You’re daughter is perfect the way she is, just like everyone else had said above. And she doesn’t need to be a carbon copy of the stereotypical girl.

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  8. If she’s happy – that’s what matters. I was a tomboy. I was happy, grew up to go to uni and have a happy family. Kids should be what they want to be, without the snooty judgments from the adults around them.

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  9. just tell her that her little girl will be nice and docile and FAT 🙂 let your girl run free! There is plenty of time for her to grow up and be prim and proper.

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  10. Tomboy? Do you live in mid-20th century Canada?
    Here’s what we call tomboys in these modern times, Mrs. Priss: confident, athletic, versatile, capable. Oh yeah, and girls. We call them girls.
    (what does she call boys that try to keep their clothes clean?)

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