Food and Drink

Red Wine

I got this in an e-mail and it made me laugh. Since it's the weekend and no one is reading blogs I thought I'd share it with the one or two of you who may be dropping in. I'm also using it as a 'cop-out' as it's too nice a day to sit inside and blog. I'm off to the pool!

   IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVISORY
       
   Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
   Do you suffer from shyness?
   Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
   If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask
   your doctor or pharmacist about Red Wine.
   
   Red Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better
   and more confident about yourself and your actions.
   Red Wine can help ease you out of your shyness
   and let you tell the world that you're ready and
   willing to do just about anything.
   
   You will notice the benefits of Red Wine almost
   immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you
   can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from
   living the life you want to live.
   
   Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past
   and you will discover many talents you never knew
   you had.
   
   Stop hiding and start living, with Red Wine.
   
   Red Wine may not be right for everyone.
   
   Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use
   Red Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind
   nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
   
   Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting,
   incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control,
   loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity,
   delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache,
   dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke
   and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or
   Dare, and Naked Twister.
   
   WARNING:
   The consumption of Red Wine may make you think
   you are whispering when you are not.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of Red Wine is a major factor in
   dancing like an idiot.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of Red Wine may cause you to tell
   your friends over and over again that you love them.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of Red Wine may cause you to
   think you can sing.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of Red Wine may lead you to believe
   that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
   four in the morning.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of Red Wine may make you think you
   can logically converse with members of the opposite sex
   without spitting.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of Red Wine may create the
   illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better
   looking than most people.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
   NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE
   WITH RED WINE!!!

2 thoughts on “Red Wine

  1. *puts down bottle of wine to type*
    I’m sorry did you say you were off to the pool? Niiiiiiice. I’ve been sitting here blogging and drinking my problems away. It’s-all-good. 🙂

    Like

  2. Very funny – I loved, ” The consumption of Red Wine may make you think
    you are whispering when you are not.” – HA!
    Nice to see you today – have a good week – Kellan

    Like

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