Family

Put it away! or If you HAD put it where it belonged you’d be able to FIND it now.

My family has developed a strange disease that I’m not sure how to cure. Its technical name is ‘ walk-in-the-house-and-drop-everything-wherever-you-want-itis’. I’m not sure how that translates into Latin.

Just as a warning to my blogging friends I thought I would point out some of the symptoms so that you can watch for it in your own abode.

The first symptom is a messy house. Everything is everywhere and nothing is where it belongs.

The second symptom is that no one can find anything, and often children will accuse another family member of stealing, taking or moving some of their things. When this symptom goes to the extreme it can result in tears, temper tantrums and severe melt-downs.

The third symptom is that the door to EVERY room becomes blocked with crap stuff. Stuff that has just been dropped there and then left to, oh I don’t know – rot maybe? Be eaten by the cat? Or (shudder) be picked up and put away by the maid Mom?

The final symptom, and perhaps the most scary, is that the female parental unit’s (in some cases I understand it could be the male’s) face suddenly turns purple, steam starts to come out of their ears and then the yelling starts. At this stage the children will usually scatter to the far corners of the house, only to emerge much later to quietly put a few things away. They won’t tidy up EVERYTHING but just enough to calm the purple parent down to a more attractive shade of red and reduce the yelling to muttering.

I’m finding that this disease keeps reoccurring at my house with alarming frequency.

Anyone know of a vaccine? A purple face is not my best look.

20 thoughts on “Put it away! or If you HAD put it where it belonged you’d be able to FIND it now.

  1. Thank goodness it finally has a name! I’ve threatened to give everything away that I’ve found on the floor after X amount of cleaning time has been given. It didn’t really work. My latest tactic was to threaten to give one crack with the wooden spoon for every article left on the floor. This being administered while I was purple-faced seemed to be very effective. I’m so glad it worked because I would surely have been turned in for child abuse had I the nerve to go through with it.

    Like

  2. I certainly don’t have a cure, as this sounds precisely like what happens at my house. The 12 year-old is the worst offender. I ask her to pick up her _______ off the floor, and 10 minutes later I will find the offending object(s) moved to a different spot, but certainly not put away.
    Apparently I need to be more specific, not just “Please pick up your shoes off the living room floor,” but “Please pick up your shoes off the living room floor and put them in your closet, which is upstairs in your room.”
    Although I think the thing that makes me even crazier is this:
    “Please pick up _______”
    “I will!”
    “No, do it now, or you’ll forget.”
    “No I won’t, I’ll do it in a minute!”
    Of course, they forget, because they won’t ******* listen to me and do it when I ask. Then they have the nerve to be surprised when I turn purple.

    Like

  3. Thank goodness this awful disease has a name. I thought that my house was the only one that experienced this type of disorder. In a strange way, I am grateful that my family is not alone in this. I have family coming over for the holidays and I am incredibly stressed about how messy my house is…how many shades of purple do you think a person can turn before they drop dead?

    Like

  4. There is a cure, but it’s not pretty. It involves getting rid of everything you own and moving the entire family into a distant relative’s tiny spare room. I went through this about four years ago, and it cured my husband and I for sure. It also cured our desire for “stuff.” We have very few things now, and prefer it that way.

    Like

  5. Cure – Its called a green garbage bag. The threat works in our house.
    First time we did it there was disbelief that a parent would follow through on some thing…..now they don’t take chances.

    Like

  6. Ugghhh. I’m dreading this disease but I can feel it coming. My kids are still small enough that I follow them around and tell them to hang up their coat, pick up their room, etc… and, with a little bribing, they comply.
    I’m thinking that, instead of hanging coats, we’ll throw the kids’ into a big box so they don’t have to go through the arduous task of hanging them. Giant storage bins have a way of concealing messes. They’re not pretty but they sure do hold a lot of stuff!

    Like

  7. My mom used the garbage-bag-donation thing on the four of us. Once. After that, we learned.
    My son is only three, so we’re still in the training phase. I’m thinking I’ll use the same trick someday if necessary.

    Like

  8. Since my Husband is the only one in this house with this disease and he throws a FIT if he can’t find something that he knows he left somewhere stupid (even though he never actually remembers where he left it), I have taken to picking up all of his items and placing them on his side of the bed. He can choose to sleep with them, put them away, or just throw them on the bedroom floor, I don’t care. As long as the items are out of my space, no one has to die. But my face does turn a lovely shade of purple the entire time I’m shoving his ties, change, iPod, coat, remote controls, keys, clothes, mail, hats, shoes, magazines, etc. under the blankets. GRRRR!

    Like

  9. Does the threat of “give one crack with the wooden spoon for
    every article left on the floor” work for husbands as well??? I just
    returned from a 3-day weekend away (my first in 10 years!) to a
    house that ran rampant with ‘walk-in-the-house-and-drop-
    everything-wherever-you-want-itis’.
    What the heck is that about? Punishment for my daring to leave
    soon to be threatened-with-a-wooden-spoon husband with 4 children?
    (note: that husband has had no problem leaving me alone with
    4 children for 4 days in a row…numerous times.)
    Is there a doctor out there that can save my family from this dreaded
    disease…’cause I’m ready to crack ’em all with that wooden spoon!

    Like

  10. Hilarious! Please please please tell me if YOU find a vaccine for ‘walk-in-the-house-and-drop-everything-wherever-you-want-itis’. We (as in my husband) have the same problem and drives me NUTS.

    Like

  11. Funny but how true. I live in an apartment and have gotten rid of the habit of collecting too much stuff. Only problem now is with a toddler, he seems to be starting to have more stuff than me and my husband combined. And those stuff are mainly toys which you can find under the table, on the sofa, floor, table, etc…

    Like

  12. Is that what it’s called?! Thank you!
    We are currently on a massive hunt for the keys to the rental car my husband has been driving while his was in the shop. We have a key drawer that he invented to curtail such losses. HE INVENTED the drawer, so why are his keys not in it? It is a mystery.
    btw, I am running a contest right now, come play! 😉
    http://sayanything.typepad.com

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s