Being Female


So, I’m flipping through my e-mails and notice that for some reason I’m now getting advertising e-junk from my local grocery store. I guess, I’m okay with that if they’re telling me that peanut butter’s on sale or something, but today’s e-mail was giving me fashion tips.

Now, why a GROCERY store is giving me fashion tips I have no idea, but not only are they telling me how to dress but I think they’re also giving me BAD advice. In this particular e-mail they told me, and I quote:

“Easily this trapeze shape was one of the hottest silhouettes I showed on the runway this Spring. Playing off the volume trend from Fall 06, we’ve updated this must-have look with a fresh new edge. Available in black or indigo, this Sateen Tunic Dress is made from cotton with a gorgeous satin shine to it. Designed with classic shirt detailing, fitted chest and shoulders and an exaggerated A-line that flares out beautifully-honestly, it’s the perfect dress for every body type. Worn over skinny jeans or leggings it’ll give any woman a casual yet chic look. Just right for day or night. And the best part, like all of our fashions it’s the latest trend at a fraction of the price.”

Now I’m the first to admit that I’m not a great dresser, but a trapeze shape? That’s a triangle isn’t it? I mean isn’t my backside already big enough, won’t this make it look even bigger? And doesn’t it say it has a ’satin shine’? How big do these people need my butt to be?!!!

Casual yet city chic? Bullshit. TiredMama is boycotting her local Superstore. I’m sure there’s an ugly short man behind this ad, and I bet he’s laughing at me too.

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